Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.作者: nasis 时间: 2013-10-7 22:29
Edited by Molly, Leetemerald, BR, Kofi Wearmouth and 7 others
Surviving a betrayal takes a lot of strength and discipline. There are many things you can do to help you get back on track, but you need to be willing to put in the effort. If you have been hurt and are looking for successful ways to deal with a betrayal, then try the following steps.
1）Let yourself become emotional, and then let it go. Cry if that is all you want to do. Get the feeling of hurt and anger out of your system. It is important for you to release negative emotions if you want to cope with betrayal. But don't prolong the agony and allow the mourning period to consume you. Get it out of your system and move on.
2）Set some goals for yourself. Write down all the things that you want to do in your life and accomplish, and start working on making them happen. If there is a career path you wish to pursue, start working toward that. By doing this, you are refocusing your mind on to something that is more important than the betrayal. Surviving a betrayal means setting your mind on building a better life and future.
3）Find ways to enhance your personal development. Begin an exercise regimen that will not only keep you healthy and fit, it will provide you with an outlet to dispel any negative feelings that surface periodically. Take up a new hobby like ballroom dancing, hunting or hiking. The idea is to find yourself again, build confidence and recognize that a bad situation like a betrayal can lead to good.
4）Cope with betrayal by finding motivation in inspirational and empowerment books and CDs. Also, spend your time with positive people. If you surround yourself with motivational outlets, then you will be more excited about life; you will be more inclined to put your negative experience behind you and be optimistic about the future.
5）Understand that the process of dealing with a betrayal is not an easy one to undertake. There will be moments in which you will relapse, but that does not mean that you are failing. Whenever you do feel distressed, turn to a motivational resource, specifically a friend who likes to listen first and then pull you out of your rut. Don't let these moments of weakness consume you, however. They can become emotionally draining for both you and the friend who is there to support you.
Having a successful life and achieving your goals are skills that everyone can learn using Mind Power. To do so, the most important point you need to remember is: What you focus on you attract. Simply put, you train your mind to think about what you want in life, and you avoid thinking about what you don’t want. Worry, fear, negative thinking, these are all allowing the mind to focus on what you don’t want. Not only does this drain your energy but it is counterproductive. That is why fear is so destructive and why despair and hopelessness must be avoided. They are in many ways Mind Power in reverse.
So how do we eliminate this negative thinking? The first step is to recognize the importance of eliminating them, and the second step is to be aware when negatives are happening to us.
Now you can’t avoid negative thinking entirely. Sometimes negative thoughts just pop into our mind. What we can do, however, is to be vigilant and aware, so that we immediately recognize when we are thinking negatively. And when we catch ourselves thinking negative thoughts we can use any of these techniques:
1) Change the negative thought into a positive one. For example, if you are worried and focusing on what could go wrong in a situation, change your thoughts to what could go right. The mind can only think one thought at a time; so changing the negative into a positive eliminates the negative.
2) Use an affirmation. Begin affirming to yourself something positive and self-supporting. The mind will focus on what you are repeating to yourself.
3) Use humour and fun. We get very serious and stressed when we’re thinking negative thoughts. Think of something funny to change the energy, or do something fun like going to a movie or having a night out with friends. Don’t let your negative thoughts have power over you. Be proactive in eliminating them.
4) Remind yourself that the negative thought you are thinking is “only a negative thought.” It has no power other than what you give it. Negatives gain momentum from your thinking them over and over again. So stop thinking them.
The key is to be diligent in monitoring what you are thinking, to catch the negatives before they have time to become entrenched. With practice you will notice right away when you are thinking negatives, and you then can take the appropriate actions. The mind is a creature of habit, so encourage positive thoughts and eliminate negative ones. You wouldn’t allow stinking garbage to build up in your house without taking action. Likewise don’t let negative thinking build up in the inner sanctuary of your mind. We are responsible for the thoughts we think. Take action to eliminate negative thinking.
While most of us are aware that we have something called a subconscious mind within us, there are very few of us who know much more than that about it, let alone how to harness it. This is unfortunate, for your subconscious mind can and should be a great ally in achieving success in your life. All you need do is to establish a working relationship with your subconscious mind. In order to do this, one must become conscious and familiar with this hidden, mysterious aspect of ourselves, and the role it plays in our life.
One of the ways we can do this is by affirming to ourselves for several minutes each day, “My subconscious mind is my partner in success.” By doing this we are re-educating ourselves as to the fact that we possess a second powerful mind, and that it is our partner in success. Becoming conscious of our subconscious, and moving beyond thinking of it as some abstract concept or figment of our imagination is an important step.
The second step is to be aware of how our conscious and subconscious minds work together, to learn the functions and roles of each. The subconscious has two main functions in our life. The first function is to attract to us conditions and circumstances according to the predominant thought patterns that reside within it. My reoccurring mantra is, “What you focus on you attract.” Now with this new subconscious information, you can begin to understand why this is true. Your subconscious mind is not limited in any way and will forever attract to you according to your thoughts. It has no volition of its own and will simply act upon what resides and vibrates within.
Further to this, your subconscious mind will act upon any request or instruction you give it. Any thought that is repeated over and over again will take an imprint within the subconscious, which cannot distinguish between what is real and what is imagined. This is why visualizations, affirmations and repeated images can have such a powerful effect in our life. By doing these exercises we are creating images within ourselves which the subconscious then acts upon.
Our conscious mind is the guardian to the gates of the subconscious. It is the conscious mind’s role to make sure that only the highest quality thoughts gain entrance to the subconscious. When we fully understand that whatever thoughts and beliefs gain entrance to the subconscious will eventually manifest in our life, we become very diligent in monitoring and directing our thoughts.
If you were to do every Mind Power technique shared in the Mind Power Into the 21st Century book for five minutes every day, you’d probably need an hour and a half a day to complete them, and that’s simply too much time. In our modern, busy, active lives time is precious and needs to be used wisely. That’s why I suggest you limit yourself to twenty to thirty minutes a day. This is sufficient time to see dramatic results in a relatively short amount of time, and yet very doable, even for the busiest person.
You have to work to see results with Mind Power. It’s not a magic wand. Mind Power is a practice not a philosophy, and there are very few practices that will guarantee you results from just twenty to thirty minutes a day, so we’re fortunate to have these techniques.
Some exercises can be general and others specific. For example, you could have a general exercise on abundant health and a specific one to help with your sore back. Or a general one on an abundance of money and a specific one on closing an important deal with one of your customers.
Designing your own personal Mind Power program is like painting a canvas. There are a few basic rules of composition and color, but after that each artist paints in his or her own particular way. The paintings of Picasso and Rembrandt are radically different from one another, yet both are recognized as masters of their craft. So too can you be a master of Mind Power in your own unique way; all you need are the desire and a willingness to put time in every day thinking in this new and exciting way.
Having personally taught this system to over two million individuals, I have a great deal of firsthand experience with the different ways people use Mind Power. Each person is different, and this is one of the strengths of Mind Power—it will suit your particular style and character. Some people use a diversity of techniques, while others use only one or two. I know individuals who have achieved great success using only the affirmation technique and nothing else. While using just one technique would be too restrictive and limiting for me, it worked for them and that’s all that counts. I am a big believer in RESULTS! So feel free to design your own system.
I personally like to spend approximately five minutes on each exercise I give myself. So if I devote between twenty to thirty minutes, that’s four to six exercises daily. I also like to assign myself a weekly program, whereby I stick to the same exercises all week. At the end of each week I review my exercises and alter them as feels appropriate. The mind likes diversity, and changing exercises week by week often spurs one on. The important thing is to make sure you’re doing some exercises every day.
Let’s assume you’ve chosen an appropriate goal and you’ve committed yourself to doing twenty to thirty minutes a day for a ninety-day period. A possible Mind Power scenario might look something like this:
WEEK 1
5 minutes visualizing your goal
5 minutes affirming your goal
10 minutes on subconscious exercises for guidance
5 minutes acknowledging your strengths and creating a success vibration
WEEK 2
5 minutes visualizing your goal
5 minutes affirming your goal
5 minutes contemplating the importance of success
5 minutes on self-image
5 minutes acknowledging your strengths
WEEK 3
5 minutes visualizing your goal
5 minutes imprinting new beliefs
5 minutes contemplating your personal power to create
10 minutes on self-image
5 minutes of affirmations
So while your goal remains the same, the exercises can vary week by week. Each new week becomes a new work in progress, and our life is our canvas. The key is to keep doing the exercises, remembering that what you focus on you attract. Mind Power gives us techniques to focus on our goals.
Thoughts:
1) Be able to objectively observe your thoughts.
2) Remember thoughts aren't facts
3) Know how thoughts trigger feelings
4) Be able to shift perspectives.
5) Be aware of and shift negative/critical/emotionally abusive self talk
6) Noticing where your mind goes and bring it back to the present moment
7) To be more effective in the moment, accept reality and decreasing thoughts and what-it's
Feelings:
1) Increase emotion regulation skills
2) Be able to notice emotions with out pushing them away or making them longer than useful
3) Remember emotions are infos not facts
4) Remember emotions are sth you have, they are not who you are
5) Notice and practice the emotions that you want to feel more often
6) be able to sit with and accept some anxiety
Behaviors
1) Be able to chose your behaviors
-Create space between impulse and action, so you can make an effective choice.
-Behaviors can trigger emotions.
2) Be able to take accountability = objectively observe your behavior & consequence, take responsibility for your part.
- Decrease habite of shame, minimize, denial, blame
3) Chose behaviors consistent with the person you want to be and more toward your ideal self.
訓練自己勇敢 就會慢慢堅強勇敢--我還在學習這門功課XD